I am home and haven't been working since Jan 20. I have not gotten anything "accomplished" like I wanted to. I would love to "coach" cancer patients and actually measure the effects of that...maybe take advantage of some retired psychotherapists who are wanting to serve in their communities. I was going to outline a business plan and apply for at least one grant just to get my feet wet. It is more about life "coaching" vs. psychotherapy I think. I really don't know though...I am full of ideas that are mostly pushed aside for the greater need to take care of my family and run my business and my life.
Chad.
My mother is a very heavy subject right now. My crusty old dad is being incredibly loving and nurturing. He is amazing and it is really inspiring to see how much he truly loves and is devoted to her. I have had the opportunity to spend so much time with them over the last several weeks. It was amazing how fast she really went downhill. Her birthday was January 21 and we took the kids down to see her for that. It was the last time we saw "her". The pain took a strong hold by that weekend when we went home to Montana and hasn't let up. She now has an intra-thecal(sp?) pain pump installed that feeds her morphine and she is really not into feeling ANYTHING right now so she is constantly taking MORE pain meds to try to stay ahead of the incredible and incomprehensible pain as the tumors continue to stretch the network of nerves they are intertwined with as they grow.
My dad actually called everyone last night thinking that she was not going to get through the night. She is not eating, not drinking, not sleeping and has lost the will to live. It is really disheartening. She knows she is loved though and in her moments of clarity she shares her worries that she can't seem to let go of. ("Are the dishes done?", "Is dad paying the bills?" or the often repeated: "I just feel terrible that I am putting the kids and the grandkids through this!") Some people are good at math or sports...and my mom is very talented at many things, but she is incredibly talented at worrying.
Anyway as you can imagine, I have the emotional fortitude of a potato right now and am so grateful for the patience of my business partners, family and friends as I go through this ordeal. I feel tremendous love for those who have gone through this before me and grateful for every moment I can share with people who life seems to provide who lift me up.
Have a great week and thanks so much for your kind thoughts.
XOXOXO
Chad.
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Chad Schauers
Personal Cell: 406 799 8613
Personal Email: metchad@gmail.com
